The Forkiyaki Stick
我真受不了！That’s Chinese for, “I can’t stand it!”
“Ayh? You can use chopsticks!!! Now you are half Chinese.” How many times do I have to hear this line? 我真受不了！
Pizza Hut is the place in China to eat with a knife and fork. So, how exactly does that 20 year-old student who just complemented me on being half Chinese for my ability–a westerner, no less–to use chopsticks fair with western eating utensils?
1. Fork: stab pizza.
2. Knife: slice oversized chunk.
3. Fork: hold up non-bite-sized chunk at 180 degree angle to table, cheese face down.
4. Mouth: work around edges of pizza.
5. Repeat.
What do I want to say to her? “It’s not a 串 for crying out loud, it’s a fork! You’re supposed to use it for bite-sized bits, not eat off it like a stick.”
What do I actually say? Nothing. And even if I did lie and say something like, “I am impressed how good you are with a knife and fork,” she’d probably say something “modest” along the lines of, “I’m not special, everyone can use a knife and fork.”
And lest I be accused of being an ignorant, arrogant, racist jerk who has “problems“, I’d just like to point out that it was my wife, a mainland Chinese girl, who encouraged me to write this on my blog.
Tags China, Chopsticks, Fork and Knife, Pizza Hut
